EVEN HUGER coming-out-of-retirement announcement

Following Michael Owen's League Cup heroics against West Yorkshire giants Leeds United the other night, the English media and various punters have been calling for his reinstatement to the England Squad. And bloody right they should too.

"We've not produced a decent out-and-out goalscorer since him, and this proves he's still the best out there at what he does," they've inkily bellowed in unison.

"1-0 down to Germany in the final. Who would you rather a loose ball in the box fall to, him or Darren fucking Bent?" they add, putting you and your out-with-the-old fickleness in its rightful place. And your rightful place is anywhere but an internet comments section, where only the wise and brave may trod.*

Well we here at PLB would like to go one better than that and call for the reinstatement of England's finest living goalscorer, the one and only Robbie Fowler Alan Shearer Gary Lineker? GEOFF HURST.

Pic from guardian

So wickle Mickey Owen blasted a peach past the Argies in...what year was that again? Oh right, 1998. Hmm, Wikipedia's telling me France won the competition that year.

Sure, his two late goals for Liverpool against Arsenal in one of the most one-sided finals ever where the Reds got to lift old big-ears were something, but get a load of this - Hursty (do they call him that?) knocked three** past the Germans and ended up lifting the World Cup. That's the World Cup, bitches. Old skinny gold-body herself.

We tried contacting Sir Hurst MBE for his thoughts on our petition yesterday, alas his publicist told us he's currently too busy admiring statues of himself and acting as McDonald's Director of Football. I think the latter involves convincing aspiring athletes that Big Macs were the secret to his success.

Michael Owen was a great striker at his peak, and those are the moments for which he should be remembered. Without question he'd welcome another crack at the big-time, but unlike rock & roll where for some inexplicable reason retirement is a non-entity, there comes a time where you have to accept your best years are behind you.




* Oh I kid the internet. Leave us a few comments below FFS, won't you?
** Shut up, it counted.